Laundry Day
by Majestik Moose
Summary: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and Yoda do an evening chore with disastrous results. Oneshot.


**Title:** Laundry Day

**Summary:** Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, and Yoda do an evening chore with disastrous results.

**Rating:** K

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

**Characters:** Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, Yoda.

A/N: I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this. But I hope you enjoy the randomness!

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Obi-Wan Kenobi sighed heavily as he followed his Master to the second floor. It was a little after midday, and a droid had suddenly decided to blow a fuse in its circuits making it unable to go about its normal duties. And now he and Qui-Gon Jinn, his Master, were forced to do the little droids normal afternoon chore, which happened to be a chore Obi-Wan was strongly against. He made sure his Master knew of this.

"This is torture, Master." Obi-Wan mumbled as the two began to climb up a flight of stairs.

Qui-Gon Jinn only smiled. "You say that about every chore, Padawan. "You're making this far much worse than it really is."

"Master, we may as well just roll around in the mud!"

Qui-Gon looked at his apprentice curiously. "Would you prefer to roll around in mud?"

Obi-Wan looked at the floor and was silent before shaking his head, defeated. The conversation was dropped as they reached their destination at the top of the stairs. They continued down a long hallway and headed for a door at the very end. This was when Obi-Wan started to feel nauseous.

"I have a bad feeling about this," the younger Jedi commented as they approached the double doors.

Qui-Gon smiled at the overused phrase, but knew where his apprentice was coming from. It was a filthy job, and he himself didn't look forward to it.

They entered the room and were both greeted with a variety of smells, both good and bad. Obi-Wan cringed when he saw the pile of dirty undergarments belonging to the younger initiates. A strong yet gentle hand rested on his shoulder and he turned around to see the amused expression of his Master. He looked away and glanced around the room with a look of disgust. There were several washing machines lined up against the wall, each had pile after pile of dirty laundry around them. Why were the Jedi so filthy?

"Come, Padawan. There is much work to be done." Qui-Gon said as he shrugged off his cloak and hung it on a rack. Obi-Wan did the same and walked to the other side of the room where a particularly large pile of clothes sat.

Luckily, the droid who normally did the laundry had broken down after it had sorted through the clothing. All Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had to do was toss the laundry into the machines and let them do all the work. The downfall of this, however, was that they had to actually touch the unclean attire.

Qui-Gon decided to deal with the tunics while Obi-Wan dealt with the leggings and cloaks. Together they would battle with the socks. Neither of them touched the initiates clothing.

Obi-Wan gingerly fished around the clothing bin and pulled out a pair of pants. He nearly gagged when a sticky substance rubbed off onto his hand. He inwardly cursed at the Jedi for being so dirty. He tossed the goo infested leggings into the wash and picked up a cloak. He glanced at it and saw that it was covered in a thick layer of green crust. He cringed as the crust flaked off and came to a rest on his own shirt. He shuddered visibly and continued his work.

Qui-Gon was having trouble with his work as well. He too realized how horrible the Jedi were at keeping their clothes clean. He had once thought Obi-Wan was a slob, but the clothes that surrounded him blew that accusation right out of the water. Several tunics were splattered with a foul smelling substance and the Jedi Master had to wonder if someone had run out of toilet paper. He shook the thought away and carefully picked a shirt up with his index finger and thumb. With a cry of disgust, he threw it into the washing machine and wiped his hand off right after.

"Master, I do believe the Jedi are succumbing to darkness. Why in the name of the Force are the Jedi able to levitate things with their mind yet are unable to wipe a single smudge off their pants?" Obi-Wan exclaimed as he peeled a dirty sock off the back of a robe and tossed it into its appropriate pile.

If he hadn't known otherwise, Qui-Gon would have assumed that Obi-Wan was on the brink of insanity by the tone of his voice. Part of him knew where the young apprentice was coming from. The job had turned out to be far more revolting than he had predicted.

It was a half an hour later when they heard the unmistakable sound of someone else entering the room. Both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stopped their work in order to greet the newcomer who went by the name of Yoda.

Obi-Wan silently prayed that the short Jedi had come to relieve them of their torture, but it was not so.

"Come to help you, I have." Yoda grumbled as he shuffled across the floor towards a washing machine. "Dirty business, laundry is."

Obi-Wan was grateful that Yoda had come to help, but he was also disappointed at the fact that there would be no relief from their work. He sighed and continued to sift through the many baskets of cloaks and leggings. He lost count at how many times something strange and unfamiliar had rubbed off onto his own clothing. It truly made him want to vomit.

Qui-Gon was still having difficulties with the tunics. Nearly all of them were covered in something. The very best tunic he had found was only drenched in sweat. The rest were an abomination. He came across one shirt that was completely covered in sweat and grime as well as an unidentified glob of orange jell. He was about to toss it into the wash bin when he saw the name tag that read 'Mace Windu', which signified that the messy tunic belonged to the very man he had grown to know and trust. Qui-Gon barely held back a laugh, and he made a mental note to tell his Padawan of his find, as well as confront Mace about it.

Yoda was doing perfectly fine with his pile of laundry. Although the clothes were a bit large and heavy for him, he was able to put a single cloak into the wash in the span of five minutes. The only problems he had, was his small stature and how he nearly got lost in each article of clothing. They were so big. Other than that small difficulty, all was going well – until he accidentally closed the washing machine door on his own shirt. He pulled and tugged at it, but the attempt was futile. He was stuck.

"Eat my shirt, you will not!" Yoda grumbled as he banged against the foul machine with his gimer stick.

Qui-Gon abandoned his duty and assisted Yoda in releasing his tunic from the washer. He pulled at the Jedi Master's shirt, and was rewarded with a swift smack in the shin with Yoda's cane.

"Touch my shirt, you will not! Rip it, you will!" Yoda cried out as he furiously thwacked Qui-Gon in the shins until the man retreated.

"I was only trying to help, Master." Qui-Gon apologized and rubbed his aching legs.

Obi-Wan, who was oblivious to Master Yoda's predicament, angrily tossed a pile of smelly tunics over his shoulder in an attempt to place them in their proper pile. Unfortunately, the tunics only landed right on top of Yoda's struggling body. The small being yelled in frustration as he tangled himself in the clothing and nearly fell over. Luckily he was able to maintain his balance, but the tunics were still attacking him and his own shirt was still caught in the washing machine door.

It was at that point, when a very large beetle, the size of a grown mans hand, crawled out of the pair of pants that Obi-Wan held. It latched onto the Padawan's arm and hung there. When Obi-Wan noticed it, he screamed. With a cry, he began to flail his arm around viciously in a pitiful attempt to make the beetle fall off. He succeeded after many tries and the large insect landed on the floor. The bug started to skitter away.

"Kill it, Master! Kill it!" Obi-Wan yelled as he moved out of the way of the enormous bug.

Qui-Gon sighed and began chasing the particularly fast insect around the room. He stomped at it several times and missed. Obi-Wan continued to yell at him. He finally stomped on the hideous creature, but apparently it had some sort of hard outer shell because the action had no effect on the beetle. Obi-Wan jumped on top of a washing machine when the insect ran across his foot. The poor boy was terrified of the thing.

Yoda was still battling with the tunics.

Qui-Gon eventually drew his lightsaber and ignited it. With a triumphant wail, he sliced at the insect numerous times in a ferocious matter. The bug was a fast little thing, and dodged the saber many times. Qui-Gon began to stab at the big black bug. He stabbed several items of clothing before he finally was able to kill the small beast. The bugs' insides splattered all over the basket of already clean clothes. Obi-Wan groaned as realization struck that they would have to re-wash those.

Yoda let out a horrific cry as he tried to free himself from the washing machine. He had been victorious over the other tunics that had landed on him, but the washer was still eating his shirt. He took his gimer stick and began to beat the machine as if it were the enemy.

Qui-Gon put his lightsaber away and took hold of the Jedi Master's shirt. He pulled hard and after a moment the little troll was free.

"Worse than a Sith, these machines are." Yoda growled softly as he readjusted his tunic.

Obi-Wan had recovered from his scare with the bug. He usually didn't mind insects, but that one was just way too big, and way too ugly. He was about to hop down from the machine when he noticed that some clothing had gotten caught inside and was blocking the rest of the garments from getting clean. He looked at his Master respectively.

"Master, the clothing in this machine is stuck."

"Well, open the door and get them loose."

"But what if the water pours out?"

"It won't, Padawan. These machines are automatic and will turn off the moment you open the door. No water or soap will get out."

Qui-Gon was wrong.

The machine Obi-Wan was using happened to be one of the few that hadn't been equipped with the automatic response when the door was opened. A person would have to push a certain button in order to turn it off. Obi-Wan found this out the hard way.

As soon as he opened the door, water mixed with cleaning soap shot out of the machine like a rocket in all directions. Obi-Wan and Yoda were both blasted backwards and they slammed into the wall behind them. A plastic laundry bin had been caught in the process and flew towards Yoda. The green troll ducked but it only caused the laundry bin to fall on top of him…upside down. He was now trapped underneath the basket.

"So, I was wrong." Qui-Gon mused as he approached the machine and turned the power off.

Obi-Wan was the first to react. He began to scream as he dug his palms into his eyes. He shakily rose to his feet and stumbled around the room, his eyes shut tightly.

"Master, there's soap in my eyes!"

Qui-Gon was quick to the rescue. He grabbed a water bottle from a nearby shelf as well as a towel. He sat Obi-Wan down and forced the younger mans eyes open. He then squirted the water into his eye in order to wash it out. It only made Obi-Wan scream louder.

"Master! It burns!"

Qui-Gon frowned when he read the label on the water bottle – 'Liquid Soap'. He groaned and watched helplessly at his Padawan helplessly ran in circles and tripped over everything in sight.

An aggravated "humph" was heard and Qui-Gon slowly turned around only to see Yoda, still trapped underneath the small basket that was a suitable size for him. Yoda had stuck a small arm through one of the basket holes and was smacking the tiled floor with his gimer stick. Apparently he had been trying to get Qui-Gon's attention for quite some time.

"Out, I want!" the small being grumbled. "Out! Out! Out!"

Qui-Gon tried not to laugh as Yoda continued to beat the floor while muttering threats of the possible things he could do if they did not help him. Qui-Gon picked the basket up and set it aside. Yoda picked himself up and brushed his clothes casually. Suddenly a blinded Obi-Wan came stumbling along and ran straight into Yoda. Yoda let out a startled cry and fell over, Obi-Wan landing on top of him. Yoda hollered more threats as Qui-Gon moved to help the two out. The troll was whacking Obi-Wan over and over with his gimer stick. He helped his stunned Padawan to his feet and allowed Yoda to pick himself up once more.

Qui-Gon sat Obi-Wan down, grabbed another bottle (he made sure it was actually water this time) and pried his apprentice's eyelids open. Obi-Wan squirmed, and Qui-Gon held him down as he sprayed the water. Obi-Wan hissed and Qui-Gon handed him a towel which the young Padawan pressed against his eye gratefully. Qui-Gon did the same to the other eye and soon, Obi-Wan was able to see once more. His eyes, however, were teary and bloodshot.

Yoda was glaring at the two Jedi. He slowly took a step forward, about to give a speech on foolish behavior and clumsiness. He slipped on the wet floor and fell right back onto the ground. Unfortunately, his gimer stick flew right out of his hand and sailed straight for Qui-Gon. The small cane spun through the air and hit Qui-Gon directly in the forehead. The older man yelled in pain and stumbled backwards and tripped over a pile of clothes. His feet flew out from under him and his right foot got caught under one of the basket rims – the basket that held the initiates clothing. The clothing bin soared through the air and hit Obi-Wan on the head. Obi-Wan fell to the ground with a startled cry. Yoda was displeased at the fact that the initiates underwear and fallen on him.

Yoda huffed angrily. "Toilet trained, the initiates must be."

Everyone was on the ground in some form of pain. They lay there for a while, trying to catch their breath. They each muttered curses when they tried to get up, failed, and slipped on the soapy floor. After a great struggle and a lot of new bruises from Yoda's gimer stick, all three Jedi limped out of the Laundry Room. They made straight for the stairs which led back down to the main floor.

As they walked down the hallway, Obi-Wan came to a pause, staring blearily at the two adults in front of him. "Masters," he said timidly. "This thought only just occurred to me. But why did none of us think to use the Force to help us back there?"

Everyone was silent for several moments.

Finally, Yoda sighed. "Our brightest day, this was not."

Qui-Gon shrugged sheepishly at Obi-Wan as the three of them continued down the hallway.

Yoda spoke to them sternly as they approached the top of the stairs. "Never again, will you two do laundry. Dangerous, it is. Fear for your lives, I do."

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon couldn't have been happier.

However, in his happiness, Qui-Gon accidentally bumped into Yoda. There was a muffled cry and loud thud, followed by another, and another, and another…

The last thing Qui-Gon saw was a small green troll tumbling headfirst down the long set of stairs. He grabbed Obi-Wan's shoulder and steered him back towards the Laundry Room.

"I believe it is time for us to leave, Padawan."

"Yes, Master."

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The End.


End file.
